


I'll Call You Mine (And I'll Be Yours)

by Chechilia



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-23 06:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10713840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chechilia/pseuds/Chechilia
Summary: When Uther calls to ask Arthur his plan for his wedding with Elena, it's Merlin, Arthur's boyfriend of two years, that receives the message first.And when Arthur comes back home, he finds the flat empty.





	I'll Call You Mine (And I'll Be Yours)

When Arthur enters the flat he's been sharing with Merlin for over a year now, he expects his boyfriend to greet him at the door - Merlin texted him to let him know he was heading home.

That's why he freezes for a second when he notices that the flat is plunged into darkness : all the lights are off. A frown pulls at his brow as he sets his keys aside, dropping them in the bowl placed near the door.

" Merlin ? " he calls out.

There's no answer. And it's strange, because Merlin usually doesn't work on Friday nights, and Arthur knows Merlin would have called to let him know if he' was summoned back to the hospital for an emergency, or went to the pub with some friends. 

But as it is Merlin's shift is supposed to be over, and the flat seems resolutely empty. 

" Merlin ? " Arthur calls out again, beginning to worry.

He pads into their bedroom, thinking that maybe Merlin came home and fell asleep, too tired to stand after having been performing surgeries all day. Careful not to light any room or make too much noise, Arthur opens the door, and a feeling of dread settles in his stomach : the bed is empty, sheets rumpled as they left them that very morning, sated after several rounds of sleepy sex.

Merlin isn't there.

Getting back in the living room, Arthur takes out his phone, meaning to call his boyfriend. A blinking red dot distracts his attention, and he looks up to see their home phone signaling a new message. Unsettled, Arthur reaches for the button, and listens to the voice streaming from the speaker. It takes him a few seconds to recognize his father, because it's so very unusual for him to sound so _happy_ :

" Arthur. I had lunch with the Godwyns today. The young Elena was positively glowing, so I trust your relationship is going well. It was to be expected, now that you are to be engaged ; but I'm glad you're finally settling down, leaving behind the nonsense flings and mistakes from your youth. When shall I expect the wedding ? We should meet to discuss the preparations. Lunch on Sunday ? I'll see you there. I'm proud of you. "

Long after the last bip has died off, Arthur stands there unmoving, eyes wide, a slight tremor running through his limbs. 

The first thought that goes through his head and wears off the shock isn't " What the hell " or " That bastard ".

" Gods " he breathes, terrified. " Merlin ".

Merlin, who was probably home when Uther called, and thus heard everything his father said - and implied.

_" Now that you are to be engaged "._

The words still ringing in his ears, Arthur scrambles for his phone and dials the number from memory alone.

" Pick up " he whispers, pleading, trying to keep the panic at bay. " Please pick up. "

The loud shrill of the ringtone makes Arthur jump. His head snaps up toward the sound, only to freeze again when he sees the light of a screen.

Because Merlin is there, slumped in a chair, his entire body giving an ethereal glow, awash in the moonlight streaming from the window. Curled up on himself, arms squeezed tight against his chest, he doesn't even react as the phone rings on his lap, before falling silent when Arthur hangs up.

Heart beating madly, Arthur takes a tentative step forward. His throat is tight and he doesn't dare talk, for fear of breaking the fragile instant and sending Merlin running, never to return.

His hands are shaking when he's finally close enough to nudge Merlin's legs apart and kneel between them. Arthur curses himself when his lover flinches away from his touch, a hurt look on his features. Merlin's eyes are unusually bright, red rimmed as if he's been crying for the better part of the evening, glazed over and unseeing.

And doesn't that send a shiver down Arthur's spine, because he knows Merlin, he knows and loves him, every part of him, and he can see the profound pain dancing in the deep blue of Merlin's eyes.

" Merlin " he murmurs, voice catching in his throat.

Merlin raises his hand at the sound, to push him away or hit him or just hold him, Arthur isn't sure, and his guts clench painfully when he notices that Merlin, so proud of his steady hands when it comes to perform insanely precise surgeries, is now violently shaking. Merlin lets his hand drop, tries to breathe, doesn't quite manage and finally lets out a shuddery sigh.

" Engaged, Arthur " he says, and it hurts Arthur to hear the emptiness within. 

Merlin's voice turns to a broken whisper, as if he doesn't have the strength to manage more :

" We've been together for more than two years and you're engaged. "

And Arthur knows it's his fault Merlin's hurting, because his father might be a bastard but it isn't him that kept their relationship a secret, refusing to be seen by any other than their friends. It's Arthur and Arthur alone that chose to remain hidden, hoping against all hope that his father would never find out, because he was too damn afraid to come out to him.

Merlin took his demand to heart, suffering the blow again and again, arguing but never forcing Arthur to disclose their relationship, despite being out and proud since high school. And Arthur, despite seeing the cracks on Merlin's confidence, convinced himself that what they had was enough. 

It hits Arthur then, how much of a coward he's been, disregarding the feelings of the man he loves, not showing him enough the depth of his own feelings. He never acknowledged Merlin as his, nor himself as Merlin's, and now Merlin's thinking...

'' Merlin, I'm so... '' 

" Gods '' , Merlin says, interrupting him, '' I even thought about having kids with you one day, and... "

Merlin's voice falters, he can't go on, and his eyes are glistening with unshed tears. It frightens Arthur, to think that he has that much power over Merlin, that he could break him with his words should he choose to. And even the ugliest part of him, the part that's jealous and demanding and possessive, cowers under the feeling of horrifically _wrong_ that overwhelms him.

Because Merlin isn't fighting, yelling at him, insulting him, he isn't demanding the answers he knows he deserves and instead stays curled up on himself, small and vulnerable, as if afraid of breaking apart. Waiting for the final blow he thinks Arthur will give.

Merlin trembles as he waits but the blow will never come, because Arthur is his, his to the marrow of his bones, and nothing his father could ever say would change that.

" Merlin " Arthur says, gentle, soothing.

Merlin looks down at him, tears rolling softly down his cheeks.

" I need you to listen to me, love " Arthur asks. " Can you do that ? "

Merlin blinks and nods jerkily.

" I've been a coward " Arthur admits, " and for that I am so very sorry. "

He takes in a ragged breath :

" But I am not engaged to marry Elena " he says firmly. " And I won't ever be. I've only met her a handful of times, and though she is a lovely woman any man would be lucky to have, her heart doesn't belong to me, and you hold mine in the palms of your hands. "

Merlin is watching him intently, hope a flicker in his eyes like that of a candle, and Arthur _aches_. He reaches blindly to take Merlin's hand, and lets out a sigh of relief when his lover doesn't pull away.

" Elena and I being married " he explains, " is only our fathers' fantasy, an item they need to cross off the list allowing the merging of their two companies. "

Arthur's thumb rubs warm circles over Merlin's knuckles, trying to keep him grounded, to slowly pull him out of the nightmare his father's call has thrown him into.

" Why the message, then ? " Merlin asks, voice cracked, desperation showing through.

Arthur takes a deep breath, trying to keep the unforgiving guilt at bay.

" My father " he says, " never accepted me having male partners. He tried to brush it off as a youth's mistake, a silly experiment that would soon bore me. I never came out explicitly to him - never told him about you - but he must have found out. "

He runs a hand through his hair.

" I've always been afraid of what he would do once he knew. Of what he would do to drive you away. "

A humorless laugh escapes him.

" I guess this is good enough. "

" You're suggesting that... "

Merlin trails off, clinging to the hope brought by Arthur's words.

Arthur rubs tiredly at his nose before answering.

" He must have found out we lived together. With connections like the ones he so carefully cultivates, it probably isn't difficult to learn your schedule and mine. He simply chose the right moment to call. "

Arthur presses Merlin's hand in his own.

" He did this to make me lose you " he says.

His breathing suddenly becomes shallow :

" And I fear that..."

His mind blanks, as the thought of a world without Merlin hurts him more than he can comprehend. He swallows noisily.

" I fear that you... "

His voice has an edge to it, too rough from the sheer force of the emotions running through him, and suddenly Merlin's hand tightens around his own.

He looks up to find Merlin slowly shaking his head. His face is still pale but he isn't crying anymore, the numbness driven away by the warmth suffused in Arthur's words. A small smile is gracing his lips, and there is no words for the pure relief that washes over Arthur at the sight.

He stands slowly and brushes away Merlin's tears, before placing a delicate kiss on each of his eyelids and the corner of his mouth.

" I'm yours " he murmurs, certain. " I love you. "

It's easy then, for Merlin to reach a hand behind Arthur's head, pulling him into a proper kiss. Slotting their mouths together, he uses Arthur as leverage to pull himself upright, pressing himself against the strong lines of Arthur's body.

And Arthur yields willingly, parting his lips to the teasing of Merlin's tongue. Slow, gentle strokes soon turned heated, the kiss hungry and desperate. As Arthur turns his head to catch his breath, nuzzling the skin of Merlin's throat, he feels the warm puffs of Merlin's exhales against his cheek.

Emotions and relief coursing through him, Merlin frames Arthur's face with both hands and kisses him again. Arthur grips his waist in retaliation, tightening his hold to press Merlin against his chest as his lover falls apart between his hands.

He rubs his back soothingly and whispers nonsense in his ear until the shaking subsides, until Merlin finally manages to shake the remnants of the spider's web of fear he was tangled in.

When Merlin's breathing finally returns to normal, Arthur takes a step away, bringing a hand up to smooth the crinkles on Merlin's shirt.

" There " he says teasingly. " Better. "

The words have the desired effect, and Merlin's lips twitch in an aborted smile. He presses himself against Arthur again, resting his head on his lover's shoulder.

" Your father's a jerk " he mumbles.

Arthur laughs softly.

" Yeah, he is " he replies.

He relishes in the warmth of the body pressed against him, and the thought hits him that he could very well have lost it tonight. Lost the man he loves more than anything.

'' I'm so terribly sorry for hurting you '' he murmurs, '' for not having told my father about us. ''

Merlin tightens his hold as his reply skitters on Arthur's skin.

'' I thought you would get there, eventually. '' 

Brilliant affection runs through Arthur, and he takes his decision without thinking, knowing that it's the right one to make anyway :

" By the way, the lunch on Sunday ? " he says. " You're coming with me. It's time for my father to meet the man I intend to spend my life with. '' 

" Okay " Merlin says after a beat, voice muffled in Arthur's neck, a small smile stretching his lips. " But after lunch you buy me ice-cream. "

Arthur snorts at that.

" Okay. "

" With whipped cream. "

" If you want. "

" And a cherry on top. "

Arthur laughs before pressing a quick kiss on Merlin's temple.

" Whatever, love '' he replies. '' My treat. "


End file.
